Many years ago on a bleak Thor's day evening, the small port side town of Blagery Dak had a problem. Most of the inhabitants there made a modest living by combing the coasts as pirates, skimming off the heavy purses of neighboring well to do districts like Pumphreysberg or Hoitystadt. These were cities that were still loyal to the not too distant corrupt monarchy of King Pauntevaust.

Some merchant ships did have the privilege of regular port to Blagery Dak without fear of trouble, but they were very few. Only the staples were allowed in and even then, you'd better know the folk or else. One such vendor vessel brought about the same type of goods each week on Thor's day, wine, a half dozen or so different spices, rags, and tobacco. As you might guess, every Thor's day was an important delivery day.

A community can get by without a good many things from one week to the next, but let a group of folk run low on wine and tobacco for a week and see what happens! Just such a horrible thing came to pass in this little town. When word got out that the red waters and 'baccy were delayed till only John knew when, a meeting quickly ensued. The leaders of Blagery Dak had to think quick lest their little town dissolve into the worst kind of mayhem, the kind they normally inflict on passing kingly vessels. Either this pirate town would come up with a plan to ration out the tobacco and wine they already had, or it would be a free for all and nothing would ever be the same for this tighter than tight, thick as thieves community. 

After a good hour of consideration by the 5 leaders of Blagery Dak, they forged a plan. All the wine and tobacco from each household would be gathered up by the leaders and put in the center of the town on top of a barrel. At the first rooster's call, the remaining tobacco and wine would be freely given on a first come first serve basis. No weapons were to be allowed in this race at all. All night folks tried in earnest to get their roosters to sound, but a rooster is like a courtly noble, or a southland donkey, it does what it does in it's own time, damn be all else. 

Eventually, Jameson Erdleberg's rooster sounded off first (which is where we get the phrase, "The Erdleberg get's the Vurm. Vurm was a favored brand of wine in that region." So the townsfolk flew to the barrel as quickly as they could. Since none could carry weapons, a few cunning pipers outfitted their pipes with the most sinister additions one could imagine. A knife blade mounted under a shank on one, razor sharp spikes around a bowl on another, it was uncanny what these desperate pipers came up with during the night waiting on someone's rooster to finally crow. The consensus was, an edge or a point on a pipe was simply part of the pipe and a pipe isn't a weapon but only a device for sipping tobacco leaf. 

I don't have to tell you that that piper's with the mindset to poke and slash found their way to the booty quick as Jack Nimble's brother Francis who was too fast to even be written about in the children's rhyme. Despite the loss of blood and the addition of bruises, bumps and lacerations, the little pirate town of Blagery Dak had such a great time that Frigg's Day, they decided to have a similar race that same time every year and don't you know to this day that Blagery Dak Frigg's Day, what we call Black Friday, is still going on?

So join me in celebrating in the original pirate plundering way this Blagery Dak Frigg's Day with Oompaul.com's Black Friday Pirate Plunder. Beginning on Friday morning 11/29, sometime between 7am and 9am (EST) you will notice a transformation on the site under the "Available Pipes" portal. You will see a number of items for sale there. First come, first serve with some bits and pieces of old Blagery Dak in the mix. Sale ends at sundown 11/29 or once sold out. Mark your calendars.

Posted
AuthorOlie Sylvester