There are many strange things in this world. There's the Platypus, the Madagascan Hissing Cockroach, the Pink toe Tarantula, people who don't like pipes, etc., etc. Just recently I happened upon one such strange thing. It was someone who didn't like pipes. Ah, but with a little whisper in the ear of one of my young sons, that person within just moments was holding their left shin and hopping around in a painful little dance. My obedient if not like minded son and I side stepped the dancing downer with a nearly simultaneous "Sorry, excuse us." But on to my initial serious strange item that I've discovered.
Recently, one of our distinguished listeners, a Mr. Nelson Pidgeon of the SHPC fame, sent in a most wonderful electronic correspondence asking about the obvious hiatus in podcasts. I thought, "What pause? What hiatus is this that he's asking about? Are we not on a schedule of every few weeks?" It turns out that indeed, we were not. After conducting some quick research, it was discovered that all persons outside of the oompaul.com compound believed that it had been "quite a few weeks" since the previous podcast, while all within the compound believed the podcasts to be on track. Something had gone awry. Immediately, I reached for the telegraph and played a tune of Morse music to seven of the scientists available on premises. Once they were all in one room, I put forth the dilemma and set them to work on finding the problem. I suspected the worst. Possibly one of those ne'er-do-well anti smoking pro conniving party stallers related to or employed by Moriarty had something to do with the mess.
In what felt like Record time (Record time being very fast, the island of Record is known for their naturally caffeinated water,) all seven scientists called me into the Rhodesian room (only Rhodesians are smoked here) for a conclusion that proved to be nothing less than startling. Directly above the oompaul.com compound there exists a time vortex, which, through means of magnetism, has been holding the compound in a delayed time field. This is nothing new as I distinctly recall The Missus telling me last summer that I was moving slower than normal. By all measurements, predictions, micro and macro quantifications and tea leaf readings, the oompaul.com compound, because of it's location in Auburn, Georgia, will continue to experience this slowed pace each summer, ending sometime in the Fall once pumpkins are visible on at least one third of the porches within a half mile area. Because of this, listeners may notice a slightly slower pace to the release of podcasts. Rest assured good listener, we are diligently working on many fronts within the walls of oompaul.com and have even attempted to speed up distribution of pumpkins to the surrounding areas through various legislations.